#1 Yelling at me will not make me seat you faster. I can only ESTIMATE how long it will take for people to leave. Calm down.
#2 Looking at me for extended amounts of time but not saying a word makes you a chicken. Man up. I thought you were cute, too.
#3 Don't let your kid lick the glass after you just watched me clean it. If the windex shrinks his brain, I am not liable.
#4 Ming says don't call in with reservations for two. They are a waste of her time. Ha.
#5 Two messy children + a $60 check + great service and smiles = $3 tip. No, that is not how it works. Don't come back.
#6 Don't be super nice to me because you think I get some awesome discount that I will share. Because I don't. And I won't.
#7 When I ask for your name, it's not because I want to go to the movies with you, old man. I need it if you want a table.
#8 Just because I wear a name tag, it doesn't mean we are on a first name basis.
#9 Dear friends - The servers tell me if you are a terrible tipper...and I judge you.
#10 If you don't know Chinese don't expect to have a conversation with the chefs. Simon and Ming = translators.
#11 No, we do not have steaks and hamburgers. In case you didn't notice the sign, this is an ASIAN BISTRO.
#12 No, we do not do half orders. Complaining to Simon won't do anything, and neither will eating your soup poutily.
#13 If you're obviously older than us, don't call the hostesses "ma'am." We are too young for that. Just say please and thanks.
#14 Sometimes you just need to stop talking. Things get more awkward. I wish I could rewind and stuff my mouth with sushi.
#15 People who make rules for the employee discounts no longer applying to any sushi orders shall feel my wrath.
#16 Ming's words of wisdom while talking about someone who fake laughed: "I only like truth not fake." Always keep it real.
# 17 For the last time, NO, we are NOT a buffet. This isn't Amber, people. Red Bowl is clean, and classy. Oh, and better than Amber.
#18 Do NOT put your hands on the glass doors. PLEASE. That goes for you AND your kids.
#19 Don't look around the restaurant, notice that we have no booths available, and then continue to ask "Do you have a booth?"
#20 No talking what-so-ever. Unless Simon is in the kitchen. (Simon if you're reading this PLEASE DON'T HATE ME ^_^)
#21 Never, EVER let Steigen drink anything but water while on the clock. Otherwise, you shall feel her wrath.
