Missing you.

I still find it difficult to come to terms that you've been gone for six months now. It's been half of a year; 181 days that I haven't been able to call you or see you or tell you how my life has been going or ask you how yours has been. Is your back still bothering you? Are you free for a movie on Friday? Do you have plans to play Bridge with your friends tomorrow? Do you want to come over for dinner and see how I've done the place up?

But I can't ask you any of these things. I couldn't ask you to attend my graduation ceremony from the University you basically put me through, loan free. I couldn't ask you what you wanted for your 81st birthday. I couldn't ask you how your trip to Europe went. I couldn't ask you if your surgery went well.  I couldn't ask how you were feeling after being released from the hospital.

Because you never left.

All I could say to you was "Happy Valentine's Day." And all I could ask you was if your food was okay, or if the book you were reading was any good. And all I could tell you was that everyone was telling me to take care of dad if and when you passed. And all you could ask me in response was, "Well, then who is going to take care of you?"

Hearing about the death of a loved one is terrible. Experiencing the death of a VERY CLOSE loved one (practically a parent) is even worse. But watching that close, loved one die right in front of you is unbearable. Knowing that if I had waited for someone to come get me from Columbia to bring me back to Rock Hill because I was too hysterical, that you would've been gone by the time I arrived is unforgivable.

But none of this matters when it comes down to it. You never wasted any time in your life doing something that made you anything less than happy. You showered me with so much love. You were one of my best friends, and you were all mine. Not many children get the privilege of have a grandparent all to themselves. Although I can wait to see you again, I look forward to when we are reunited. I love you and miss you so much, grandma.

Quick *basic* grammar lesson because I seriously can't.

We all make mistakes here and there when we are typing things out. I do it all the time, I'm sure. But here are some very obvious things that REALLY irk me that people should know better with. THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER. THEY JUST SHOULD.

1) Know the difference between "your" and "you're." "Your" is possessive; "you're" is a contraction for "you are." I know some people say "your" for both because they're lazy. Well stop it. Stop.

2) Know the difference between "their," "they're," and "there." "Their" is possessive; "they're" is a contraction of "they are;" "there" is a place. This cannot be dismissed with the "lazy" excuse. So, again, STOP.

3) "To" and "too." I won't mention "two" because I don't see people mistaking this one too often. "Too" means also or to emphasize excess when paired with words such as "much" or "many." Figure out the difference, or stop being lazy and type out the extra "o" when needed. It's one letter, people.

4) It's should'VE (as in should HAVE), not should OF. GOOD MOTHER OF GOD.

5) YOU DO NOT SLAP AN APOSTROPHE ON TO A WORD YOU WANT TO PLURALIZE. YOU SLAP IT THERE WHEN YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING POSSESSIVE. OR ONTO A CONTRACTION. UGH.

6) You are "a part" of something and "apart" from something.

7) Phonetic rules overrule grammar rules.

I'll probably end up posting a Part II at some point. But this'll do...for now.

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People You Will Encounter at a University Campus

No matter how large or small your school is, you're bound to come across some of these people whilst visiting/walking across a university campus.

1. The Obstacle

     These are the people who, no matter how populated the main routes are, will stand directly in the middle of a crowd of mobile individuals to either talk to someone, text, or perform some other purposeless task that could have just as easily been done on the side of the walk way. You know, OUT of the entire student body's path.

2. The Turtle
     This type of person is probably worse than the obstacle. These are the people who walk slower than the average student, thus creating a road-block and giving you no way around them, no matter how late you are to your next class/meeting. You're stuck walking behind that person for at least three minutes. 

3. The Sloth

     These are the people who, even though they have arms and legs that work perfectly well, feel the need to take the elevator to the second floor of an eight story plus building. Or people who rush to get on the elevator when there is someone in a wheel chair or in crutches who obviously NEED to use the elevator. 

4. The Know-it-All

     This one is self explanatory. This is the person in your class that is answering every question before you get the chance to raise your hand. The person who intercepts before the professor can finish their sentence. The person who whispers back to you that what the professor just said is incorrect, and that this equation should be done this way, or this word should be pronounced that way. 

5. The Promoter

     These are the people who are obnoxiously shouting that they're handing out/selling some kind of clothing/pastry/beverage/brochure for their fraternity/sorority/club/organization. Repeatedly. Avoid eye contact, and pick up your pace. 

6. The Sedated

     This is the kid that in at least one of your classes is sitting in the far back corner, asleep. 

7. The Line-Jumper

     This one is also pretty self-explanatory. People, this ain't no Cici's Pizza. I don't care if your friend was in line before you, get to the back of the fucking line. 

I'm sure I'll think of more in the future. 

Favorite Ghibli/Miyazaki Films

Everyone has heard of Ghibli Films and/or Hayao Miyazaki, and before you say that you haven't, think Spirited Away. Or Ponyo. I own the majority of the films that Miyazaki has worked on (97% sure they're bootleg copies; no care. They work, I am okay with this) and I thought I'd share which ones are my absolute favorites. The majority are Miyazaki films.

I'll start with the three runner-ups before getting into the top five.

3rd Runner Up: Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind 

     You can click on the link to read about the plot. When I first started watching this movie, I really didn't think I would like it so much. The world the story was set in was a bit boring, but the actual story and action was fantastic. You could feel Nausicaä's attachment to the Valley of the Wind and her people, as well as her desperation for peace and harmony.

2nd Runner Up: My Neighbor Totoro 

     I had to make this a runner-up because although the movie was cute and it did have some deeper aspects to it, the movie itself was strange. Had I watched this when I was younger I'm sure I would have fallen in love with the movie and wanted a Totoro for myself. I guess this was the most difficult film to find something to relate to, thus keeping me detached. 

1st Runner-Up: Princess Mononoke 

     I really did love this movie, but it's not one I could re-watch over and over again a lot as opposed to the top five listed below.  Princess Mononoke took a little too long to warm up to Ashitaka (for my liking, mind you) and that made me anxious. Everything else about this film is brilliant. Ashitaka is a great main character with a lot of respectable attributes, and Princess Mononoke is just a freaking badass in general. I mean, she was raised by freaking wolves. Doesn't get more badass than that.

Now on to the top five favorites!

#5 The Secret World of Arrietty 

     I think one of the main things that drew me to this film was the fact that the main character was very similar to one of my favorite characters when I was younger: Thumbelina. Except Arrietty had a lot more of an independent personality. I love the relationship between her and Sho. It wasn't a growing romance, but rather a growing fondness for one another.

#4 Ponyo

    I absolutely adore Ponyo. This film was so light-hearted and adventure-filled it was hard for me to dislike it, honestly. It had young romance in it, and everything was just so...pure. The illustrations for this film were fantastic as well. I loved the way the ocean was illustrated. Great.

#3 Whisper Of The Heart

    I didn't think I would like this film as much as I did. This is exactly the kind of story I am a sucker for: young, blooming romance. The main character is uncertain with what she wants to do with her life, and the story follows her journey of finding our main male character, and how he is intertwined with her future. She pushes him away in the beginning, just like a lot of my favorite female protagonists, and just...man. The kind of romance I wish I had, but realize it would be creepy if it happened in real life.

#2 Spirited Away

    When I tried watching this when I was younger, I didn't like it. Actually, I thought I hated it. This film gave me such a weird emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on, and I just didn't enjoy it at all. Anytime it came on TV, I'd flip channels to find ANYTHING else to watch. But after watching it again sometime in the past year, I REALLY enjoyed it. I love Chihiro (or Sen) and Haku's friendship/relationship. I love how crazy everything is in this world. I was sad at the ending because I didn't want it to end, and I wanted more closure (or at least a sequel).

#1 Howl's Moving Castle 

    This film...I can't even. This movie was my favorite I think because Howl's character was just the right amount of caring, mysterious, conceited; he was just the whole deal. Someone I would ideally fall in love with. And Sophie is such a sweet, caring girl who thinks of others so much before herself. This film had a great plot, a lot of adventure, a lot of confusing aspects (which is normal with Ghibli films haha) and a GREAT happy ending that I was a complete sap for. The only part that confused me was when Sophie randomly turned back to her normal age (she was sleeping in one scene, and then another scene she was looking for Howl in his weird tunnel). I was just confused as to what triggered the change. BUT, great movie. So great. So. Great.

BONUS FILM!

 Grave of the Fireflies

    I couldn't add this film to my list of favorites because I felt like it deserved its own category. Although this is one of my FAVORITE Ghibli films, it is also probably one of the saddest films I have ever seen (no, not one of the saddest Ghibli films specifically, but one of the saddest films EVER). Gosh, this film was sad from beginning to end. I had high hopes for this film, and it definitely met my expectations, but God...I have never, EVER bawled my eyes out so much. Even though it's an animated film, the story is very real, I swear if I didn't know better I would've thought it was non-fiction. It was beautifully done. I recommend this one the most out of all of the Ghibli films, despite how tragic the story is from beginning to end.


Sorry these descriptions weren't so great, I guess you'll just have to watch the films to know what I'm talking about! I highly recommend all of the films I've listed above. 

From Anonymous, to Anonymous

Names have been replaced with "anonymous."

"Good morning.

It's Sunday the 18th and I was just sitting around drinking coffee. Almost made it to early church this morning but chickened out AGAIN. I'll call anonymous this week to see if I can hook up with them next Sunday and work back into it slowly I suppose. The house is empty without you in it good or bad, and I wanted you to know that in spite of my attempts at moving on, I know I'll never really be able to. I wonder if anyone really does? Maybe if there is a genuine hatred or outright animosity that would make it easier-such is not the case with us. I miss you every day no matter what I do. Some days are much better than others. They say that time heals all and 'just give it time.' I think all that time does is allow you to build scar tissue so you become more numb. I don't want to be numb. I want tinker bell to wave her magic wand and shower us with everything that would make all the fragments of our lives fall together like one of the puzzles anonymous puts together. Maybe they will, but jigsaws take a long time to finish. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wanted you to know that I meant what I said when I told you that you have a piece of my heart that no one else will ever hold like you do. It's a big piece. Why we couldn't just fall together is a mystery to me- but I know it's me and not you. I think about you often, and have many regrets. I feel that there will never be a real closure, and maybe that's a good thing because I don't think that closure is what I'm looking for at this point.

Just needed to say this- adios."

I feel like I read this out of a book. This was an email written by someone very close to me; it makes me wish that I was their tinker bell.

“I believe in morality, which is doing right regardless of what I’m told, not religion, which is doing what I am told regardless of what is right.”

Honestly, I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And since the whole "keep your opinions to yourself" motto has never really worked, I figured I'd add to the ongoing debate.

There has been a lot of hype VERY recently about Chic-Fil-A and their support against same-sex marriage. What a lot of people don't realize is that they've been against same-sex marriage for a long time. People are just now starting to take notice.

I am going to do my best to keep religion (Christianity) out of this, because quite frankly I don't know enough about it or the Bible to have a solid argument. Plus, I don't care to discuss a book that has so many different interpretations to those who are close-minded.

I will say one thing though. There are so many Christian gays out there, and for them to be shunned by the majority of churches and "super" (aka Nazi) Christians because of their sexuality is disgusting.

My main point here is, who would willingly choose to be gay?

Think about it. Who would choose to go out of their way and force themselves to like the same sex just so they could be criticized for it later on? I can't explain WHY I am attracted to males, I just am. There is something physical that causes me to gravitate towards them, a force I can't explain. Homosexuality isn't a disease, it's a sexual orientation (and honestly, in my opinion, I'm beginning to think it's hereditary, but that's a topic for later on). Just like I can't explain WHY I am attracted to the opposite sex, I assume it is the same thing for people who are attracted to the same sex.

If my (future) husband is in the hospital, if I want to see him I am allowed because I am family. Gays do not have this privilege due to the fact that they cannot get married, and in an emergency situation, only family members are permitted to visit. If I was gay and in a relationship with my partner for longer than the average marriage lasts (because let's be honest, not very many do) I should have the right to see her.

I define myself loosely as the term "Christian" simply because I do believe in God for my own personal experiences and reasons, but I do not think that if God one day showed Himself to us that he would say "I created you, but no, you can't have the same rights as others because I must have messed you up somewhere along the way."

If Chic-Fil-A wants to support anti-same-sex marriage, they are entitled to that. Just like I am entitled to support an organization that is pro-same-sex marriage.