These are the continued rules that I wrote up while at work. Please abide by these rules if you ever come into Red Bowl, otherwise all employees will secretly hate you.
#33 If you prefer a booth/bar booth/anything but the party room, PLEASE speak up before we bring you to a table.
#34 If you are sat at a table as opposed to a booth, please do not pout/sigh/give me a wretched look and refer to rule 33.
#35 If you make a reservation, especially for a party of eight or more, PLEASE either actually show up, give us a notice that you're going to be late, or call us to let us know you're canceling/rescheduling. Don't just not show up.
#36 Do not lie telling us you have a reservation. We know when you are lying, and it won't help you in the future.
#37 We don't have buzzers. If you're waiting to be seated, please stay somewhat tuned in for your name. I have a very loud, commanding voice, and when you're sitting right next to the hostess stand and don't stand up after I've called your name three+ times, it's not me, it's you.
#38 Tips work like this: 25% or above = you thought you were given excellent service. 20% = above average, received good service but are perhaps on a budget. 15% = average. Maybe your service wasn't the best, or you're a poor college student who really needs to save (shouldn't be eating out in the first place anyway, get back to ramen). 10% = Either you're stingy, don't know how to tip, or just received below average service. No tip = don't come back.
#39 Don't talk back to Simon. You'll regret it 110%.
#40 Please try to scoot your chairs in as much as you can while seated and when you leave. The more your chair is out, the more difficult it becomes to seat other customers.
#41 Don't bring previous trash in from your car/purse/whatever and put it in our trash cans/leave it on the table for us to throw away. We're not your personal dump.
#41.5 ESPECIALLY don't bring in those little flossers and leave them on the table. That's just disgusting. Throw that shit away yourself.
#42 Please don't take the pages out of our drink menus and switch them out to be funny. It's not funny.
#43 Chopsticks are NOT drum sticks. Jeesh.
#44 For the love of God do not TOUCH and/or PLAY ON THE FOUNTAIN. It's not a playground, it's a nice piece of art.
#45 It's an Asian restaurant. When I point in a general direction of the restaurant to tell you to speak to the manager, use your logic to determine if it's the black guy or the asian guy talking to each other.
#46 Do NOT let your kids run around the restaurant unattended. I won't tell you how to parent your children, but letting them cause a ruckus is just unacceptable.
#47 If your child is continually screaming/crying/being loud, please take them outside until they've calmed down. The fountain is a nice relaxation area (not to be confused with a play ground; refer to rule 44)
#48 I can tell how sloppy of a eater you are by how much food is on the table/floor after you've left. Unless you're a child, try to keep your food on your plate.
